Students have been up in arms following the announcement in February that the food science department at the Mystical University of Glastonbury are to drop Welsh Rarebit from the syllabus.
And rumours are spreading that the explanation given by the university for their decision – that Welsh foods were starting to unfairly dominate the syllabus – may not have been the full story.
First year student Tarquin Bonham-Smythe is currently studying mystical toast-based foods at the university and has strong opinions about the changes that are afoot; “When mummy paid my tuition fees she was expecting me to walk away from university with a degree that would land me a job in one of Somerset’s mystical gastropubs. This is now going to be a lot harder. The landlords at these pubs expect you to be able to whip up a Welsh Rarebit the moment you set foot in the door, but the idea that I could learn all I need to know in my own time is ridiculous. I haven’t even learned how to open the Worcestershire sauce bottle yet.”
But Bonham-Smythe’s revelations suddenly took on a darker tone; “You know, I heard the problem was that the University has invested so much in the new space program that there isn’t enough money left from student fees to pay for new grills in the food science department. I think they’re just changing the food syllabus to include mystical foods that can be prepared on a hob, or in a microwave. I even heard that they are introducing some sandwich-based mystical foods, and really, what good will that be for me? Apart from the Levitating Lettuce Bap, most people have never heard of a mystical sandwich, let alone bought one.”