Glastonbury Tor out of bounds to public during Olympic Games opening ceremony

Visitors to Glastonbury Tor were alarmed this morning when they discovered that work has started on the huge job of slicing through the base of the Tor so it can be transported hundreds of miles to the Olympic Games opening ceremony on 27th July.

Olympic Games Opening Ceremony 2012The Tor will be placed on a specially constructed rocket transporter that is on loan from the aeronautics department of the Mystical University of Glastonbury, and will then be driven along the M4 motorway in time to feature as the centrepiece of the extravaganza at the start of the Olympic Games.  Because it is a wide load the Tor will occupy two lanes, only leaving one lane for overtaking.  The AA has warned motorists to expect delays.

Speaking on behalf of the Glastonbury Pilgrims Union, Chief Stairmaster Paul Hompkins had mixed feelings about the event; “it is traditional to go all out to impress at the Olympic Games opening ceremonies, and we appreciate that since Glastonbury Tor achieved mountain status that it has become one of the most important visitor attractions in England. But at the same time, you have to appreciate that this will be the first time in hundreds of years that the members of the Glastonbury Pilgrims Union haven’t been able to make their daily barefoot walk from the middle of Glastonbury town to the top of the Tor.  During this enforced break we’re going to have a lot of surplus Kendal Mint Cake. Fortunately the National Trust gift shop at the base of the Tor have very kindly offered to take it off our hands.  But for me, it’s more about the break in tradition.”

8 thoughts on “Glastonbury Tor out of bounds to public during Olympic Games opening ceremony

  1. Tracy Kingston

    Lucky me – I read this article just in time – I have been able to rearrange my summer holiday to avoid Glastonbury during the Olympic disruptions. I’ll come to Somerset another year – it just wouldn’t have been the same without the Tor.

  2. swallow

    The olympic stadium is built on a ley that starts in greenwich (greenwitch) then stratford olympic site ,then leyton and leyton stone, is there a mega ritual planned ,lamas!!! there ringing a 27ton bell ! all a bit suss ,well to me anyhow , check a blog called ancient hackney ,for some great info, thanx people

  3. Mark Folkes

    This is outrageous.

    I had my first ****** ********** inside that Tor last year and consider it unacceptable that it is being transported to London for foreign people to gorp over.

    I intend to complain to my MP, once he is released from his week in prison for that unfortunate ********* ******** he got sent down for. The ****** *** still has not recovered.

    Anyone interested in buying some magic beans?

    Tally Ho, pip pip, I’m a loony….

    Mark (I’m a complete loon) Folkes

  4. GlastonburyTor Post author

    Thank you for your comments Mark. Unfortunately you appear to have triggered the WordPress bestiality filter.

  5. Michael Cooper

    It is about time they moved the Tor or took the top couple of hundred feet off it. When we live at the foot of it, it completely ruined our reception of local television .I wrote to several authorities about the matter and was just ignored, glad to hear something is being done at last.

  6. Michael Cooper

    I’ve just realized that without a Tor, does that mean there will no longer be such a thing as a tourist?
    Tourist: noun. person who walks up a hill just to walk back down again.
    No wonder the church up there closed down, the congregation must have been knackered doing that every Sunday

  7. richnfamous

    oh no…don’t they realise what will happen if any Somerset Stranglers get loose in the London sewers?

  8. GlastonburyTor Post author

    Fortunately Somerset Stranglers have a very strong homing instinct.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *