Tag Archives: Titania Bonham-Smythe

pH testing introduced at Glastonbury Tor

Fear over the impact of acid rain has led to the introduction of random pH tests on visitors to Glastonbury Tor – the spot-checks tell whether they are acidic, alkaline or pH neutral. This marks a return to interest in … Continue reading

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Instructions to Keep Off The Keep Off The Signs are unfair say pilgrims

Recent visitors to Glastonbury Tor will have noticed that many of the signs instructing them to keep off the grass, keep off the garlic and keep off the path have been kicked over by angry protesters. Although this is a … Continue reading

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King Arthur had Glastonbury Tor paved in ancient times

Visitors to Glastonbury Tor are familiar with the information boards at the gift shop, that tell the history of the tor since it was discovered in 1275.  Chief Gatekeeper Titania Bonham-Smythe will often quiz visitors on key facts before allowing … Continue reading

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Don’t be tempted by the hamsters at Glastonbury Tor say vets

Local vets have advised visitors to stop stuffing their pockets with the hamsters that are swarming over Glastonbury Tor this year. The huge population of hamsters, known by local breeders as Somerset Stranglers because of the tendency of females to … Continue reading

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Perky pensioner Percival Angstrom returns to Tor for prestigious Vortex Award

Today OAP Percival Angstrom was welcomed back to Glastonbury Tor at a reception arranged by Chief Gatekeeper Titania Bonham-Smythe. This followed his dramatic airlift in January when he was discovered unconscious in St. Michael’s Tower. Angstrom was presented with a … Continue reading

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Société d’Horticulture de Poitiers in dramatic Glastonbury Horticulture Society takeover

In a surprise move only hours after Glastonbury Horticulture Society announced their bid to buy Glastonbury Tor from the National Trust, Société d’Horticulture de Poitiers announced at a surprise press briefing today that they have agreed to buy a controlling … Continue reading

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Pilgrims to boycott Air Sea Rescue service

Following the dramatic rescue of pensioner Percival Angstrom yesterday morning, staff at the National Trust gift shop at Glastonbury Tor were surprised to learn today that they have been landed with a huge bill. Rushing to their defence the Glastonbury … Continue reading

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Old Age Pensioner trapped in No Entry vortex

An Air Sea Rescue helicopter winched OAP Percival Angstrom to safety from the top of Glastonbury Tor this morning after his lifeless body was discovered by National Trust staff. Chief Gatekeeper at the tor Titania Bonham-Smythe was first on the … Continue reading

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