Glastonbury Tor

Tag: pilgrimage

  • Some other pets now allowed to use dog trolleys to climb Glastonbury Tor

    A public outcry has followed the recent announcement that Glastonbury Pilgrims Union has donated thirty dog trolleys to enable people to enjoy the tor with their dogs. These trolleys were necessary because the tor has grown by 30 metres in the last decade which meant that many dogs were no longer able to get to the top under their own steam.

    Dog Trolley Sign

    This week three hundred owners of other pets signed a petition that was handed in to the Lord Mayor of Glastonbury the Rt Hon Lawrence McKnight, that claimed equal rights to trolleys for all pets.

    In a partial step-down the Pilgrims Union have agreed that if trolleys are not being used by dogs then other pets may use them. However it is not good news for all pets. Very small animals may be expected to double up and share with others in order to avoid wasting space. So for example, if two people arrive with chinchillas, and there is a spaniel sized trolley, they would be expected to share. There are no plans to force animals from entirely different species to share trolleys, but many people think this will be hard to enforce. The rule of thumb is that if a pet is likely to eat or attack another animal that it shares a trolley with, then it should wear a muzzle.

    Fortunately muzzles for a wide range of species are available in the National Trust gift shop if pet owners arrive without one.

    Patricia Barnyard of the Glastonbury Dogwalker’s Trust remains upbeat; “Obviously dogs take priority. They are the best sort of pet, and this new ruling on trolleys accepts that fact. It means that dogs are never expected to share a trolley. They are always welcome to enjoy their visit to the tor, although there have been occasions when a queue of beagles has developed. On the other hand, if you want to bring a hamster or a cat for a walk on the tor it is possible that they will be able to use the trolleys too, and visitors will find a good selection of cat muzzles in the shop, on the shelf below the Hobgoblin Marmalade.”

  • Glastonbury Tor disappears from satnavs

    Motorists in South West England awoke this morning to the discovery that satellite navigation systems no longer show Glastonbury Tor on the map. This wrecked the travel plans of many people who were planning to visit the tor today on this special day in the ancient mystical calendar.

    Today is indeed an important day for the Glastonbury Pilgrims Union as they celebrate the Spring Equinox – the day when the setting sun shines directly through the window in St. Michael’s Tower and onto the main megalith in the famous ring of standing stones on the tor. People from all over the country come to Glastonbury to see the pilgrims perform their ritual barefoot walk up the single path to the top of the tor – a pilgrimage made all the more difficult by the new Keep Off The Grass signs.

    Uther Henge, the chief mystical consultant for the National Trust stationed permanently at their gift shop at Glastonbury Tor struggled to shed light on the situation; “Yesterday if you typed the postcode for the tor into your satnav it would bring you straight here, although admittedly if you used a TomTom it would take you round the back of the tor to a service road that doesn’t allow you access to the property. But today as the sun rose the tor disappeared from systems much like Marty disappearing from the photo in Back to the Future. If you want mystical, you have to try this out!”

    A spokesman for TelSat Inc., the company responsible for the satellites that hover over British airspace was more forthcoming; “This is just paving the way for Twinchester Mountain. We were contacted by an accountancy firm in Kent yesterday who were able to provide all the proper documentation for the change of name.”