The sudden appearance of Keep Off The Grass signs all over Glastonbury Tor has caused an outcry. But some people are not just complaining about the reduction in picnic space – a pressure group from the Glastonbury Signwriters Guild has also been fighting their cause.
Spokesman Master Craftsman Cyrus Chuldfield announced today; “our complaint isn’t so much about having to keep off the grass. Members of the guild are working round the clock at the moment repainting the town’s signs to read Glastonbury twinned with Glastonbury so we’re not getting out much. The problem we have is that these new signs were made by the National Trust outside of Glastonbury. For hundreds of years the local bylaws have said you need a signwriting license to make and sell signs in Glastonbury. Signwriting license application forms are available at the reception desk at Glastonbury town council B”.
But Uther Henge, the chief mystical consultant for the National Trust stationed permanently at their gift shop at Glastonbury Tor was keen to defend the Trust; “This was just the standard shipment of a thousand hand-painted signs that every National Trust property receives each year from head office. Over the weekend we managed to put up all five hundred Keep Off The Grass signs, but we still have to put up three hundred Private – Keep Out signs, and fifty Form An Orderly Queue signs. The Glastonbury Signwriters Guild need to realise that if we sourced all of our signs locally we would have to charge over £100 per person for admission to the Tor. We still get guild members to paint many of our signs, so I think it’s a bit rich them complaining. For example, last week we ordered a hundred locally hand painted signs saying Wipe Your Feet You Urchin“.