Tag Archives: St. Michael’s Tower

pH testing introduced at Glastonbury Tor

Fear over the impact of acid rain has led to the introduction of random pH tests on visitors to Glastonbury Tor – the spot-checks tell whether they are acidic, alkaline or pH neutral. This marks a return to interest in … Continue reading

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Are dogs allowed at Glastonbury Tor?

The most common question that people ask when they are considering a visit to Glastonbury Tor is “are dogs allowed?” Surprisingly, it’s not just dog owners who ask this question, but also owners of other pets who are considering a … Continue reading

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The Uther Henge guide to perfect toast

Traditional single Insertion method The traditional method of toasting. You simply adjust the toaster setting so that it pops up cooked to perfection. At least, that’s the idea. The reality is that several factors usually result in very uneven toasting. … Continue reading

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King Arthur had Glastonbury Tor paved in ancient times

Visitors to Glastonbury Tor are familiar with the information boards at the gift shop, that tell the history of the tor since it was discovered in 1275.  Chief Gatekeeper Titania Bonham-Smythe will often quiz visitors on key facts before allowing … Continue reading

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England’s longest escape tunnel discovered at Glastonbury Tor

Officials at the Prison Service are counting their lucky stars today following the discovery of a massive escape tunnel built by inmates at St. Michael’s prison. The prison that occupied the basement of St. Michael’s Tower was finally closed in … Continue reading

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Keep off the path signs cause incendiary rage

Many visitors to Glastonbury Tor were understandably upset by the arrival of 500 Keep Off The Grass signs in January. But they have been thrown into complete confusion by a new set of signs instructing them to keep off large … Continue reading

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Head of Glastonbury Town Council A impaled on St. Michael’s Tower – foul play suspected

Chief Inspector Wilkinson of the Glastonbury constabulary briefed the press this evening about the case of Councillor Gerald Watkins who was found in his office today impaled on a model of St. Michael’s Tower. The tower sits majestically on top … Continue reading

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Dogs to enjoy Glastonbury Tor more in 2011

Because Glastonbury Tor grew by 30 metres since 2001, many dog owners have expressed concern about the steep slope their pets must now endure when climbing from the National Trust gift shop at the base to St. Michael’s Tower at … Continue reading

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Glastonbury Tor may invert – emergency plans prepared

Scientists have known for some time that every 4.5 billion years the earth’s magnetic polarity reverses, and archaeological records indicate that the next flip is imminent. But the metallurgy department at The Mystical University of Glastonbury have made the surprise … Continue reading

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Toast-making display irritates Glastonbury Observatory

Only days after their complaint about light pollution, Glastonbury Observatory is in the news again as they fight for a clear view of the sky above them. Cosmologist Kirsten Denier from Glastonbury Observatory explained; “St. Michael’s Tower has always been … Continue reading

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Glastonbury Observatory complains of light pollution

Scientists from Glastonbury Observatory are angry about the huge array of lights used by the company responsible for night-time dredging at the controversial Glastonbury Marina. Many visitors to Glastonbury Tor are unaware that the huge telescope is mounted on the … Continue reading

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Glastonbury Tor disappears from satnavs

Motorists in South West England awoke this morning to the discovery that satellite navigation systems no longer show Glastonbury Tor on the map. This wrecked the travel plans of many people who were planning to visit the tor today on … Continue reading

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Old Age Pensioner trapped in No Entry vortex

An Air Sea Rescue helicopter winched OAP Percival Angstrom to safety from the top of Glastonbury Tor this morning after his lifeless body was discovered by National Trust staff. Chief Gatekeeper at the tor Titania Bonham-Smythe was first on the … Continue reading

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Rare bird triggers further hard crisp clampdown

Sightings of a rare Lesser Snow Goose on Glastonbury Tor have triggered a rush of “twitchers” (bird spotters) to the bird-spotting hide at St. Michael’s Tower this week. The twitchers generally get on reasonably well with other users of the … Continue reading

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St. Michael’s Prison finally closes

The final chapter in the story of Britain’s most expensive jail finally came to an end yesterday as the prison in the basement of St. Michael’s Tower closed, and its captives were let out on license to roam the streets … Continue reading

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Flooding hits St. Michael’s Tower

Freak floods that hit Somerset this week have put St. Michael’s Tower under 6 feet of water, creating hundreds of pounds in damage to this valuable ancient mystical landmark. Visitors to St. Michael’s Tower that sits atop Glastonbury Tor have … Continue reading

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