The Geneva Institute of Protuberance Nomenclature (the “GIPN”) announced today that because Glastonbury Tor has grown by 30 metres over the last decade, it is to be awarded the prestigious status of mountain, and will be renamed Glastonbury Mountain as of June 2011.
Lord Mayor of Glastonbury The Rt Hon Lawrence McKnight was delighted, and announced to a packed audience in the town square “This is a big day for Glastonbury Mountain, and an even bigger day for the Glastonbury Signwriters Guild”.
However, Uther Henge at the National Trust gift shop was less enthusiastic this afternoon, pointing to a stack of Tor guides that are going to have to be reprinted. “I don’t think those boffins in Geneva really understand how much we liked this place when it was a tor. A lot of people around here are struggling to see any advantages in living next to a mountain”.
Industry insiders believe this award may be a bid to stave off criticism of the Institute over its recent legal action that forced Harry Hill to rename himself Harry Human.