£70m saved as Glastonbury twins with itself

Following the discovery of a loophole in the European twin town system, the Lord Mayor of Glastonbury The Rt Hon Lawrence McKnight announced today that plans to twin Glastonbury with Langenlonsheim in Germany have been scrapped, and instead the town will twin with itself.

At a press conference this morning on the edge of the A39 into Glastonbury the Lord Mayor unveiled the new sign that now says Glastonbury twinned with Glastonbury, much to the delight of the Glastonbury Signwriters Guild whose members have been tasked with repainting all of the signs around the town.

The Lord Mayor was keen to draw attention to the huge savings the council will make over the next few years; “The cost of flying the whole town council for pleasure trips at public expense to Germany every three months was going to be crippling. We will still be making visits to our sister town but we have achieved this in a very creative way, by dividing the town council in two and then inviting each other over for cheese and wine parties, where we strengthen trade and community links.”

In other news, the Somerset Cheese Federation announced the biggest order in their history from Glastonbury town council B today, for £1m of ready-cut cheese cubes, and Glastonbury Toothpick and Pineapple Chunks PLC saw a 30% boost in share value as trading started on the London Stock Exchange.

One thought on “£70m saved as Glastonbury twins with itself

  1. dumbledad

    Cheese or travel, ’tis a harder choice than cake or death. Oxford (among others) chose a different path:


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